“Secret Admirer” (AKA ‘Stalker’)

This doofus has been calling us since 4:00AM and every hour since then. I’ve been picking up several times but he/she just hangs up. We thought about star-69ing (the thing that let’s you call back the person who just called you) the lump of coal (the caller) but that costs $1.50 so I thought “forget that.”

Finally, when the phone rang, I recited the answering machine announcement (good thing I made the message announcement so it sounded the same). Halfway through, I said “Ha! I got you now, come out! Say something!” Then I pressed buttons like I normally do and then suddenly I heard a voice. I thought “oh no! I planned all that out and when I finally did it, it was a real caller. The lady asked to speak with Ma. (She knew all our names too, I wonder why) She didn’t say what she wanted to talk about or anything. She didn’t even say her last name. We said we’d call her back. She kept calling again for the rest of the day. If she comes near me, I’ll give her something to remember.

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